When I closed my eyes just now, I saw a dried out bee’s nest. What does that mean?
I am sleeping on my bed backwards — with my feet by the headboard — because something in the room feels off, which makes being upside-down seem more appropriate.
My whole body hurts so badly that my bed feels like it’s made of concrete.
I’m too hot until I take off my blanket, then I’m freezing until I pull it back up over my ears.
I’m laying on my side with no comfortable position for my ankles. They feel like stones digging into each other — apparently I don’t even need to consciously act out in order to physically harm myself.
Everything hurts. Everything. Even this sleep is going to hurt.
My pillow keeps choking me, matter how I try to adjust it.
I can only breathe manually because I keep forgetting that I’m supposed to.
I can barely keep my eyes open; the left eye hurts like it’s been scratched on the cornea.
I think I’m going to have fitful hypnic jerks all night and wake myself by talking in my sleep (again.)
I want to sleep with my bedroom door closed, but the cats won’t let me. At least Cookie is cuddling with me for now.
Every time I fall asleep, I awaken to myself grabbing at something that doesn’t exist in this mortal world.
Is someone from elsewhere trying to take my hand and lead me away?
Or, am I trying to bring something back from another realm, but can’t pull it through the threshold?
I can barely stay awake while I write this. Now I just hope I can actually fall asleep when I am done.
Good night. Feel better.
Miss Moody Lilac 