Does anyone else repeat the events of past indiscretions between yourself and others in your head over and over and begin to fume at the audacity of whomever hurt you in your own head?
Do you replay past arguments, or even try to create new arguments in the inner-sanctum of your mind, where there should be peace?
I have certainly found myself doing this during moments that were once meditative for me: cooking, cleaning, and idling.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting another person to become sick. Platitudes aside, the unhappy repetition of thinking about events that anger you have a negative effect on your mood and mental state.
If I’m trying to become a more peaceful and happy person, then my hot-headed nature is not doing me any favors — I’m an Aries, what can I say?!
Apologizing for losing my temper and being irritable is helpful, but what happens when I can’t stop the trauma of what I call invisible arguments that pop into my brain throughout the day and night?
Today, I took the initiative and Googled how to stop angry thoughts from lingering in my mind and here is what I have come up with so far:
All feelings are generated by our “motivational system.”
We can’t/shouldn’t physically beat up our moms and friends every time they make us angry, so we continue to process the trauma in our heads as frustration because our brain considers it somewhat of a failed goal.
If you cannot get the angry thoughts out of your mind through sheer willpower, three techniques recommended on Fast Company are to forgive & forget, create some mental distance, or reframe the situation by trying to view it from an objective party’s perspective.
All of these abilities will take practice, but, in time, exercising them will help create the mental fortitude necessary to stop the pugnacious deliberation that puts you in a terrible mood on an otherwise tranquil day.
Some other approaches you could try in order to stop losing arguments to yourself are:
- Read the book or comic book you keep saying you’re going to read, but for some reason haven’t finished yet
- Write/Blog. Write about the person causing you internal drama!
- Draw, paint, or doodle — draw what you’re feeling.
- Crochet or knit
- Watch something on TV and turn your angry brain off
- SEXERCISE! 😉
- Design and create your next cosplay costume
- Clean the HECK out of your home
- Organize the most dangerously messy drawer you have
- Play with your dang pets they have been begging you to for so long they are so sad just look at them
- Make a spreadsheet about something you like… movies, books, television shows, places where you want to travel…
- Take down your Christmas decorations, put up Valentine’s decorations. Use this advice for the applicable season’s holiday… or don’t. Whatever.
- Water your plants, or repot them
- Change your bed sheets. When is the last time you did that?
- Clean the shower, take a shower, then take a bath
- Have a drink or smoke a (legal) j! Don’t overdo it and make your issues worse tho.
Good luck to you, sad you, and angry you.
Peace & love. Peace & love. Peace & love…