Shed to Grow

Whenever my plants’ leaves start browning and shedding, I feel nervous and upset for them. I always get a little worried that the plant is dying, particularly in winter time when the apartment is either drafty, chilly, or hot and dry when I turn the heat on.

All of my plants are either by a window, in a radiator-free room, or by a heater. Besides my ivy, I fear for the livelihood of plants that aren’t as robust as the hard-to-kill pothos.

Having an indoor garden is a commitment and it is extremely disappointing not to be able to keep certain plants alive for a year, longer, or indefinitely (MY DREAM!)

I don’t think I have been able to keep a Money Tree alive for longer than a year ever. I always consider a sign of bad luck from the universe when a Money Tree dies — I take it as a direct reflection of how prosperous I will be at work.

I admit that I have killed many a Money Tree by overwatering (I call it loving it too much,) or unbraiding the trunks because I want them to be free. Once, I installed a hook and hung my heavy ivy plant above my first Money Tree, only to have the ivy come crashing down and smash the innocent tree to death in what was a very traumatizing event that predicted upcoming weeks of unfruitful work.

The good news is that I managed to revive one Money Tree, though two branches are definitely dead as a result of my unbraiding liberation movement.

The Money Tree is my room is still going strong, and has even sprouted some spry new hands that reach higher than I’ve ever seen.

As you can probably notice, some of the older, bigger leaves are browning and have been periodically falling off. Given my history with this type of plant, I am understandably anxious that it is dying.

Now, I am realizing that it is only shedding because it is getting rid of old leaves and branches to make room for even more young, healthy leaves.

You know I have been so sad and angry lately, not getting along with the people I live with. I’ve been trying to meditate and pray that anger away, but it always pops into my head randomly. I have to consciously catch myself and stop. I say a prayer or mantra and try to forgive people I’m arguing with in my head, or forgive myself for not being perfect.

Watching my Money Tree, Purple Plant, and even my Pothos shed a few leaves, though, helps me realize that shedding is necessary for growth.

Bad thoughts and feelings come — it can’t be helped in this stressful and demanding life.

The only thing we can do is try our absolute best to shed them from our minds. Sometimes we might have shed old habits, or even people from our lives, as well.

Only then do we have the chance to grow into something with deeper roots and better, more elegant characteristics that can’t be reached with the old parts of you holding you back.

Spend some time in the sun and reconnect with nature today. That’s what I am going to do.

And so it is.