Accomplishment v. Struggle

I am at 66 followers and I’m so excited that I’ve decided to do a giveaway when we reach 75 followers. I won’t say much more about it because I don’t want to somehow alter my blog’s organic growth from now until we hit 75, but I will say that I am very excited about it.

Not only will you have a chance to win a real prize (OMG!,) but I’ve designed the rules in a way that will (hopefully) challenge participants to think introspectively, as well.

I just have to keep posting content until we reach 75 followers. I wonder how long it will take?! It’s encouraging me to keep blogging often since I’m really looking forward for this opportunity to interact with my readers and get to know them.

Normally, the idea of a contest is rousing to me — I hold events, contests, and sales on my other site periodically so my fans stay interested and they have more access to me and my content.

However, today is just one of those days, where I am fighting a wall of demotivation. I’m not apathetic about the contest; on the contrary, I want it to be a milestone (just as reaching 75 followers is a milestone in and of itself.)

My roommates are away visiting their parents and I finally have the time to do some cleaning without disrupting anyone’s work-from-home schedule, but I keep procrastinating. Instead, I just change the date on my to-do list and figure out a way to make it work the next day.

It’s nothing more than some simple errands broken down into smaller parts that should take no more than a total of 1 hour, but when you’re sullen, it’s easier to just keep putting them off. I simply avoid the room that needs tending to and try to knock some other things off my list instead.

On the positive side, I did get some writing done, planned my upcoming giveaway, edited photos, and worked on graphics. Now, if I can just get myself to read, practice guitar, and do some Duolingo lessons… That might not make the fog clear immediately, but I know that there will be a mental and emotional benefit that will level me out,,, eventually. 😦

One of the worst parts of being depressed is shirking responsibilities until they become overwhelming, but it is even harder when you actually are making positive progress throughout the day and you still feel like you’re not accomplishing anything.

I’m not sitting here in a messy room with tons of work piling up, neglecting my cats and refusing to shower. Yet, this chemical imbalance makes it impossible to feel good about myself even when I’ve done almost everything right.

And sometimes that’s just the way it is.

Let’s keep hanging in there.

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