Existential dREAD

This is a sham of a post because all I do is read books and shirk my responsibilities.

Like many of you bookworms, I have an ever-growing “To Read” list. In fact, I have many lists on different platforms because I am constantly saving books, peer-reviewed studies, webpages, articles, and anything else I’m curious about onto wish lists, bookmarks, or the trusty notes app on my phone. Not to mention the books, comics, plays, graphic novels, manga, and old coursework I’ve purchased or saved to read or re-read at some point that I haven’t gotten to yet.

I am proud to say that the read titles overshadow the unread items in my Kindle library because I usually only buy one or two at a time. Unlike traditional books, there is less appeal to purchase items on my Kindle when there won’t be an attractive cover sitting on the shelf. Of course, even with all the clutter and dust mites and discomfort of holding cumbersomely-shaped works, no e-book can compare to the good old fashioned print copy.

The decision to buy any book on Kindle is usually based on accessibility: I can make the font bigger (no glasses!!,) it has a back-light for nighttime reading, I can look up unknown words more feasibly, and I can purchase a book at any time. In my case, I haven’t been able to go to my local bookstore since Covid happened, so I have been relying primarily on big business to get my reading fix. šŸ˜¦

You’d think with all the lists and unread things just waiting for me on the bookcase, I’d never face any delays before starting my next book. Wrong. I’m so indecisive, and because I am so MOODY, I’m never necessarily reaching for something I was interested in however long ago. Another reason my reading list keeps growing? I add a new book that I’ve just finished and immediately check it off, instead of choosing one that I wanted to read in the past.

Tonight I’ve finished Defending Jacob, but I don’t know what type of book I want to read next. Thus begins the onset of existential dread that happens after reading a great book and hoping, searching for an adequate successor. What genre matches my mood? Do I want to read a page-turner, or something more challenging? Do I feel like fully annotating a work, or am I okay with just highlighting a work that I’m reading for entertainment? (Side note: I can never not annotate anything I’m reading. English degree problems!) Can I commit to a series, or is a standalone title better? Will I pick something from the list/my library, or will I buy something new altogether? I wish I was Miss Moody Moneybags and could have a digital AND “analog” copy of every book so I never have to wear my glasses, or read with the light on at night again. For now, I’m sticking to one or the other.

Maybe I will actually pick a book and start reading it before I get too tired to make decent progress for once? Probably I will just end up reading all day and night instead of being productive (as usual.)

A new reading journey begins now. šŸ™‚

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