When you don’t answer the phone…

I get anxious when I don’t get a response to something urgent.

I’m depressed because it feels like no one answers my messages lately. I wonder if I’m just easy to blow off, or I’m too annoying, or people just aren’t interested in talking to me because they don’t like me. It could also be that I’m far less busy, and I’m more aware of the lull in conversations?

Those are the things that run through my mind when my phone is silent. It’s the disease brain talking, but these thoughts can really get to me when I’m feeling lonely.

Usually, I’ll have a “bed day” and rewatch Bee and Puppycat (or other favorites) with Sassy and Cookie, feeling sorry for myself. I used to think that I could always reach out to friends when I was having a low day, but now I’m more worried that I’m just a burden. Such is the life of a depressed extrovert. Now, I just whine and complain about feeling sad and alone on my blog instead. :p

I’ll feel too guilty if I stay in bed all day (unless I’m reading,) so I’ll make myself feel better in different ways. Tuesday is PLANT DAY! I water all my plants, then clap for them and congratulate them on what a great job they’re doing.

Hot shower with lavender and chamomile essential oils. The only place I feel safe using essential oils in my apartment with pets. My favorite gender-normative routine: wash & condition hair, face mask, shave with Cremo (new favorite shaving cream obv,) moisturize everywhere, full blow dry, maybe even natural makeup. :O

Technically, I am in the middle of a DIY shelf painting project but it’s taking sooo long that I’m losing interest. If I’m really trying to get my mind off my personal sorrows, I should get started on the last (biggest) part. 🙃 Maybe.

After all the chorin’ I’ll probably just end up reading again. And, yes, I did end up picking a new book to read last night, but I’ll save that for another post.

Stay productive and keep your head above water, everybody. 🙂 I’ll try my best to do the same.

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