Miss Moody Lilac - Discouraged.

I am feeling discouraged about posting things online, but I’m not going to give up. It’s only been a week and I’m only just trying new mediums. I want to remain committed to my interests and refine these posts into my curated autobiography. It’s hard to dedicate your time to something when you don’t feel like you have a lot of support, though. I’m happy that at least the WordPress community has been encouraging. ❤️

It’s only the beginning of my blogging journey, however. And it’s like they say: it’s the journey, not the destination. (Btw, I can never say that sentence aloud without mixing it up. Why?) I don’t have a specific destination yet anyway, so I should be focused on having fun while it’s not actually “work” I think. I’m sure it will take a while to present a radial theme here, why not work swiftly and silently until I arrive there? Maybe the foundation I need is from people who understand where I’m coming from with my words, rather than seeking it from my inner circles, who I am starting to feel self-conscious sharing my work with.

I feel nervous posting things anyway, but, like I said, I’m trying to get over those fears by facing them head-on. I want to be brave and ambitious — those are my intentions for the upcoming New Moon as well. It’s so difficult when you’re dizzy and scared and sad so often, but the long periods of patience and joy make the hard work have greater worth. And balancing both anxiety and depression and diving head-first into an artistic career is a form of work itself.

I will keep writing. I will keep publishing. I will keep reading. I will keep learning. I will share this all with you.

I ramble because I still feel lonely a lot and that helps me shake it all out. I’m appreciative of this audience that lets me sort out my innermost turmoil shamelessly. Thank you 😌!

Good night!