I think I needed a bed day. All 3 bed days. As someone who spent most of her days in bed, including while I was “working”, I realize that I haven’t had any opportunities to take bed days since my partner moved in.
I think partially it’s because we were using a projector in our master bedroom and then we used my now-office for the foster cats so it was just way too gross to use that for a bed day.
I also felt like since my partner moved in, I would feel too guilty and ashamed to lay in bed all day while he worked from home. At least when I took a bed day in the past, no one was there to see me in my squalor and I could easily tidy up within a few hours of anyone getting home to create the illusion of having a successful day.
I tried to do some behind-the-scenes work while I was loafing in bed, going a pedo revenge kick by watching Allen v. Farrow and Leaving Nederland on HBO. I know we’re not supposed to feel this way, but I still kind of want to flay anyone who is a pedo or pedo-accused and I feel that anyone, celebrity or otherwise, who makes excuses for those people are either pedo-apologists or doing their own version of problematic sexual behavior and don’t want to get caught themselves. UGH.
“Vigilante justice isn’t justice.” Okay fine, but when you listen to the victims’ sides of the story, and maybe you’ve even been a victim yourself, and you understand how the court of public opinion can be spun in favor of the rich and powerful, then yeah, I’m in favor of someone just straight up destroying the groomers and rapists and pedos of the world. I’m not saying I’M going to do it, but I think there are a lot of celebrities who get away with a lot of shit, and even have people defending them (who have never met them?!) and disregarding the victims’ feelings and experiences. Who gives a fuck if they are famous and have some good art work? They’re still human garbage taking advantage of the vulnerable AND their fans.
And that’s all I have to say about that on here for now because I’ve been complaining about this all for the last few days, yes, in my bed.
My boyfriend even asked, “Are you just going to lay in bed and complain about pedophiles all day?” And I’m like, “YES!” And my friend texted me like, “And what’s the problem!”
Besides going on an anti-pedo documentary feature, I was trying to get some doodles done and a little journaling and a lot of rest. At first I felt a little guilty that I spent so long in bed, but we have a huge tv in there now and it’s awesome and I can’t really work in my office at the moment anyway because the man is coming to paint the ceiling in there on Saturday and I also want to spray paint the filing cabinet, but since I was in bed, I haven’t been to the hardware store and purchased any of the necessities. Also, where the fuck is the hardware store in this neighborhood? I know there is one like a 20 minute walk from here but since I’ve been bedridden, the only place I want to walk to is the nail salon tomorrow. AND I made an appointment today on my day transitioning back into normalcy.
Read, write, draw.
“Normalcy”. Because I care less about getting popular now and more about just fucking getting on with my life without feeling like a waster. 😭