Am I Annoying?

I always email my professors in the same informal language I use here: I say noob, I ask a million questions, I reveal my neuroticism, and I am verbose.

Sometimes I think that I like my professors until I send them an email and they respond so formally to my insanity that I wonder to myself, “Are you mean?” And then I get scared!

I bet some professors think some of their students are annoying but it is my single wish during my academic career that my professors are charmed by my eccentricity and enthusiasm for learning.

It’s probably a lot to hope for, but like I said a zillion times before: I don’t feel like I fit in with my classmates at Pace! I DIE wondering if I don’t fit in with my professor either?!

I have so many questions about children’s book publishing… I am also paying out my fucking asshole to take TWO classes at this demonic school. I feel like I am allowed to ask my money’s worth of questions. RIGHT?

Okay maybe I am heated because I learned that I can’t actually Zoom into that class whenever I want as I presumed and I have misplaced aggression. I also have misplaced aggression bc I don’t understand why I have to use Chicago style in this class since nothing in my last paper needed footnotes (I hope!) I am sorry I did undergrad in English Language Arts. Style guides are important to me. MLA was my life back then. 🤣

I like my professor and I’ve learned sooo much in the first week, but more importantly, I want a good rapport with all of my professors NOT because I’m a teacher’s pet (like my sister calls me) but because I might need their help in the future. I also just want everyone to like me.

I remember feeling like an outlier in undergrad, too. Don’t get me started on high school or middle school! I think I might fit in better with students at my other campus, but maybe they’ll think I’m stuck up and stanky too bc I’m weird and people sense it.

WELL in other news: I bought high-waisted Levi’s and a MacBook Pro so I could fit in with my classmates better… Hopefully no one realizes that I’m just an imposter who has so many ideas I never know what to do next.

Just happy I am finally done with all the writing this week except for two evil discussion board replies because no one else actually posted yet…

I am mega behind on reading for Wednesday and Thursday and I pray for good sleep tonight my brain and eyeballs can handle the impending onslaught.

1 like = 1 prayer.

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