It’s almost New Year’s Eve — Here are Some Thoughts

I am doing a real steam-of-consciousness. No SEO enhancements. Tonight, I feel like… what’s the point of having a blog if I can’t sometimes just use it to say how I’m feeling on the inside without treating it like a business. It’s a brand, sure, but it’s supposed to be candid thoughts for open-minded readers first and foremost. Let’s go with that.

I’m still using Grammarly tho. Stop.

I don’t know if it’s because I literally had a total of 2 alcoholic beverages in an actual restaurant today, or I bought almost-legal pot candy from a Smoke Shop that will convert into an IRL dispensary in NYC soon, or that the cheesiest songs are playing on this Spotify “Rock Mix,” but I am feeling very artsy at the moment. As I previously mentioned, I have been playing subliminal message videos every night, and sometimes in the morning. I swear that they must be working because I have been in a really great mood and motivated to take action in some areas of my life.

I have actually been exercising, reading for fun, taking care of things around my apartment… In my mind, I know I’m still depressed. But one thing I did change was to try to say positive affirmations instead of replaying automatic negative thoughts that crop up in my head. Truthfully, that has helped put me in a better mood. I can’t stop automatic thoughts from happening, but I can try to control how they make me feel. I can’t even remember if I learned that from therapy or not because I ate 1/9 of a Punch Bar (that I got from a bodega, when I have been having these things delivered for the past 7 years 😭) If I did not learn it in therapy and that advice helps me improve my life… then maybe I should become a therapist. πŸ˜‚

My partner and I saw Spider-Man: No Way Home today. I thought it was so good and I’m back on my Marvel hype. I thought it was getting too large for my attention span. I can’t read all those comics and watch all those movies and the television shows. It’s a lot. Obviously, I like them. I don’t personally think they can be that bad when they put so much money into at least shiny special effects. Critics are being too harsh. We barely go out anymore even though we live in NYC because of the pandemic, so I have become far less critical of everything. I loved the new Spider-Man movie — I don’t care what anyone else says.

TBH I’m not sure if other people like or dislike this movie at the moment because I wanted to write about it and avoid looking at other people’s reviews for now. Is anyone else excited for Into the Spiderverse 2? JK EVERYONE IS EXCITED ABOUT THAT MOVIE!

Punch bar hitting too hard. Need candies and movies. I feel like I’m getting my artistic mojo back. Slowly, but surely.

Happy Almost New Year! If you don’t hear from me again (especially if you don’t hear from my ever again!)

Moody.

My boyfriend just asked, “Are you writing an essay?”

Boi, not anymore.

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