Another Day, Another Mood

15 Minute Free Write

To get out all the feels.

Yesterday Wasn’t Bad

Despite my displeasure at having to go into school yesterday, in the cold, in the dirty slush, with COVID running rampant through all the healthy and unhealthy bodies in the city, yesterday wasn’t as bad as I was hyping it up to be.

I definitely have no idea what I am doing or what is going on in a research-forward Childhood and Youth Studies course because I’ve never done those types of research projects before… I think. Qualitative research? Quantitative research? WTF are those? And did I even spell them correctly in my notebook yesterday? Not sure. There is also something called archival research. Is that what I’ve done before when I did English in undergrad? I don’t know! But I’m there to learn and the Professor seems nice enough that I (hopefully) will stay comfortable asking her questions about what the hell I am doing. Especially since I think I am far away from my thesis/capstone, but maybe maybe maybe there might be a way to get it all done by the end of this year?

Not sure, but I will definitely schedule an appointment with my advisor.

The good news is that I know some of my classmates in that course already, though it was funny figuring out who we were by only seeing the top halves of our faces (because masks.) I was interested to see how tall everyone was and disappointed that I was not the tallest, but I always want to be the tallest because my height is exceedingly average.

My other course is Television Aesthetics and it is just my type of course. We get to watch international television shows, read them like books, and talk about aesthetics. I am thrilled because I do this at home all the time for free. I can definitely use this for my final thesis if I apply it to my area of interest — children’s media! Especially the theme of escapism.

I do have a class today, and I get to see my friend from last semester for a quick hello. I had to dig deep in the crevices of CUNYfirst to figure out where in that entire building the course is even located. Thoughts and prayers that the information is accurate, otherwise I am just going to go home. 🙂

Other good and positive news is that I finally have an appointment at Social Security and can finalize that last loose end of U.S. citizenship and be done with that whole ass mess once and for all. I already have my passport, too. I literally don’t care how long I have to wait at that office (and I am manifesting that it will be quick and easy!) because that is truly the absolute last thing that I have to do after literally decades of having no idea what in the world was going on with my documented status despite living here for hmmmm…. 30 years. Literally. THIRTY. YEARS.

Then, I have next Tuesday off for some weird CUNY reason, which is great because I can have a day to cool off from my SSA and back-to-school traumas.

This semester is going to be challenging, but much better than last semester. No more history classes that made me feel inadequate or dumb because of my dyscalculia. No more going back and forth to Pace to learn because no one would work with me to let me do the course online, even though I advocated for myself. I learned so much from that school, but I wouldn’t go back if you paid me. I’m not sorry.

My 15 minutes are up now. I am going to have a super quick dunch, do my makeup, and drag my ass down to Herald Square at rush hour for my class and then I get to be home and read books for fun.

I feel different today. I feel better.

Positive Affirmation

Only great things lie ahead. Only great things lie ahead. Only great things lie ahead.

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